The apparition of these faces in the crowd

Sorry I've been so absent. One more month... and it'll be back to fic writing, reading and all that other good stuff. I promise. I miss you guys like crazy. Like absolute crazy.

And I hope life has been treating you well too. ♥

I'm also sorry that, this morning, one of my email accounts got hacked. Tell you what, when you wake up and the first thing you see is 'mail delivery notice' from a shittonne of spam emails? I'm torn between being really pissed off and about ready to cry. I've had 'thescarlewoman' gmail address since... about when gmail was rolled out. It feels like someone broke into my apartment and rearranged all the furniture.

So. I'm sorry you all got odd and random emails from me this morning. Fucking spammers.


ETA: I'm going to be cleaning up my flist a bit too. Mostly... journals that haven't updated in over a year. If you still read me and don't update your journal? Just let me know and I'll re-add you.

For my first semester, I managed a 3.0 GPA. I was really bloody stoked by that. Like, beyond words stoked [Especially when that consisted of an A- in Contracts and a B+ in Torts]. Even my other two grades weren't bad. C in CivPro which still confuses me and a B- in Crim... which I was actually surprised at given that my teacher had issues with my writing. I'm sorry that I use polysyllabic words and write in sentences longer than five words but it's how I write and I've been doing it for a long time. But I digress.

Still, I was THRILLED. Utterly thrilled. Went into this semester feeling good about things and ready to take on the world, as it were.

Then, today, we got our rankings.

100/201.

I now feel like shit. I know I'm an over-achiever, but that's just how I am. I'm a perfectionist. And I KNEW I wasn't going to be in the top 10%, but I had hoped (especially after talking to some of my friends and hearing that we all did roughly the same) that I'd be sitting in the top 30% of the class.

Not... edging into the top half by the fucking skin of my teeth.

Bullet points:

• I fucking hate my extended family on my dad's side. My grandfather practically ruined Easter. He finally called after 3 fucking years. And managed to cause even more problems. *sigh* Fun times only, y'know, not.
• Watching s2 of Doctor Who today, I realised I keep having more contacts with people in that show. see picture. That was from meeting Daniel Evans last year when I saw Sunday in the Park with George. Watching 'Christmas Invasion' today... TOTALLY didn't realise that was him as David Llewellyn.
• Is something screwy going on with IJ today or is it just me?
• Speaking of WTFs... where the hell did my default icon go?
• I have comments. Will be replying to things this evening. ♥ Counting down the weeks left that I have to teach, thank god!
• I'm seeing people talking about Dreamwidth lately and it's making me sad. It just feels like more and more people are splitting off and I'm afraid I'm going to lose contact with folks. I may not comment a lot, but I do read and after being here since 2003, LJ is like my home. But at the same time, I have this odd twisting in my stomach thinking of losing more people off my flist to yet another site. Yes, most of us have moved on from HP or aren't as into it as we once were... but still. Gah. *sigh* I just don't want my flist to disperse any more than it already has. *clings to you guys*

In any case, a poll about dreamwidth.

[Poll #1383571]

ETA: D'aaaaaaaaa *breath* aaaaaaaaaaaaw! John Barrowman wants to be a dad. *melt* Makes me think of my friend Eric and his husband's little boy. *sniffle*

I am positively one big bundle of nerves. Slept like crap last night.

Today -- is Pittsburgh with the boy.

Tomorrow... he's driving with me to Cleveland to see a_falling_sky, avengangle (and ben, o'course), adaptor and sbnrko35.

Am excited and scared to death at the same time. Thankfully, though, Lynch changed my schedule just for today, which means we can leave at 2 rather than 6. And the boy is being nice and picking me up so I won't have to drive home uberly late.

News about the theatre too -- and GOOD news for once, but that will be saved for Monday. Hopefully a shower will wake me up!

And here we are again, on the cusp of a new year. All I have to say -- I hope to GOD that 2008 is better than 2007. I'm really getting tired of RL's constant obsession with continually kicking me in the proverbial balls. But as it is -- things are already looking up.

1. There might be a boy. Maybe. It's in the beginning stages and I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch -- but he's coming here for dinner on New Year's Day. So... maybe.

2. Have applied for a full-time (at last!) job working at the County Courthouse. So -- law stuff... on it's way. And also have a LSAT class starting towards the end of January.

3. Have made my peace with the theatre. Also had Almi actually TALK to me yesterday about Little Women. Well, the shocking thing was that she spoke to me in general as... the woman goes at lengths to avoid me. But basically said how good my callback was and what an amazing actor I am and how much emotion I put into my scenes and that I really should audition for the plays coming up. Which -- confirms my suspicion that I wasn't cast in LW because they wanted me in the pit. She also said my voice wasn't the strongest.
Me: That's because I'm not a soprano. Jo is in my range.
Her: Well, then maybe that's why you didn't sound strong as you're not used to really going for it up there.
Me: *headdesk*

4. Am sending in a CV to the Philharmonic and hopefully will get an audition. At least I can play there for a year-ish before going off to Law School.

Right now at 11am on December 31st, the New Year is looking to be a helluva lot better. And would look even BETTER if this three day migraine I've had would go the fuck away.

( Year-End Fic Wrap Up )

And I officially wrote more this year than I thought I did! Damn.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year's. See you back here in 2008 with a new year and hopefully a new outlook on life.

And I hope to god a better 2008. 2007, you sucked.

Whelp... my audition is today. I've kept this under wraps because... I actually haven't said a word to anyone around here before a few days ago. I'm auditioning for our production of Little Women and I'm going for Jo. And I know the competition out there, but dammit, I can sing the hell out of "Astonishing"... so... we're giving it a shot. Good luck vibes will be muchly appreciated!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

First of all, thanks guys for the comments on my last post. It did help in the cheering up. I have to go back and comment to you guys, but really -- just know that you all rock in the cheering-up category. ♥

And it's official! I now have Ubuntu! *dance o'joy* thanks to avengangle's boy, I now have two pretty shiny operating systems on my computer. And really, I cannot see myself going back to XP. I know I'll have to in order to run certain programs of mine (Like Finale, Sims if I ever start playing again, etc...) but I simply love the interface and the functionability of Ubuntu. It's... an OS for computer geeks and when you need help with something, it's other computer geeks helping you out. It's simply brilliant.

Also -- if anyone knows of a client a la Semagic that can be used to update LJ/IJ (even simultaneously)... please pass it along!

In other news, am currently sick as a dog. I called in sick to work yesterday which I was thankfully able to do as we're basically caught up with editing. My head is still stuffed up and I feel like I'm coughing up a lung. YAY SINUS INFECTION!

Only... not.

Going to do a numbered list because... it's best suited to my semi-sleepy brain.

1. And probably most important... a HUGE thank you to daleked who bought me a permanent account for my IJ. I seriously do not know what to say, hon. Aside from, after my week, to open up my inbox and see that absolutely made my week.

Which leads into number two.

2. Thank you all for.... well, for everything this past week. I can safely say it was one of the most hellish weeks probably ever, especially down at the theatre.

What went on -- the reader's digest version is that I had words with a very good friend at the theatre who was also directing the show. What happened -- is that, while doing Miss Saigon we don't have the instruments, namely the percussion instruments or the bamboo flutes. So Patrick (the music director) in his infinite wisdom rented this machine called an OrchExtra. For those not familiar with it, it's a machine that, with a press of a button can basically play the ENTIRE show, consequently making actual musicians not needed. Well, to start with, the machine wasn't used as just the percussion because "the orchestra was having problems so we're just going to have it play the WHOLE score for a couple of nights." See the orchestra get pissed. I said I was going to leave and come back when the OrchExtra wasn't playing everything because I knew my part. Richard (said director) YELLED at me from across the theatre and basically implied that I was a prima donna and how DARE I walk out on the theatre. Etc and so forth.

That was sunday. Tuesday, the guy playing the OrchExtra had to leave early and the entire thing just fell apart because Patrick refused to use someone playing the piano conductor score. We have yet to get through the show without stopping for any number of reasons... and we opened Thursday. Our two leads nearly walked out. The orchestra nearly walked. I spent probably a good three hours on the phone with Andrew down in Florida talking to him about how we could fix this. In the end, the show did go off fine and it's getting better each night. It just... has been one of the worst experiences.

I have since talked to Richard and he said that the issues with Patrick would be resolved. So -- they get one more chance. I'll do Thoroughly Modern Millie in September and if things aren't better -- especially Patrick learning to talk to the orchestra without sounding condescending and acting like he knows everything when he really is a fucking idiot -- then I am done. So they have one more chance as much as it kills me to say it.

So... just... I thank you all for your support and comments. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me and was the only way I actually got through this past week.

3. I tossed my name into The Epilogue Meme so -- there's that.

4. I also have tried to friend as many of you lot as I can find on IJ, GJ, or JF. So if I've missed you, please do poke me. :)

5. Probably should have mentioned this sooner -- but I DID get the job at Penn State. I've mostly been doing editing, but I love it anyway. Right now it's just 9 hours a week and I'm enjoying what I'm doing. Yaye!

6. I'm in the process of moving fic, most likely to IJ right now. I will get you guys more info on Scribblit too, even in spite of the fact that the servers are hosted in Canada. Also, once I get through all the current members of hp_summersmut I will begin posting fics once more. I'm hoping to start posting once more by Wednesday. I've hated to not have fics going up, but I have to cover my own ass too. >.<

♥♥♥

Well, aside from now being completely and totally scarred for life, The Full Monty opened last night. The sound guy said he was scarred. I said I've known one of the actors since I was ten. He... backed down. *g*

I swear, I must be a masochist or something because I have been at the show every night this week. Was actually planning on going home after Green Room, but we ended up staying straight through once more. I tell you, it's the audience reaction that's the best.

And yes, they DO do the Full Monty. God bless backlighting... Though, the lighting technician is taking up a collection each night to maybe... miss the light cue. We all say she could probably put her daughter through college with the money she'd rake in...

I did at final dress manage to tape 'Let it Go' on my cell phone, so I'll see about getting it up for you guys to see.

So sorry for my impromptu absence. I really wasn't planning on spending EVERY night this week at the theatre but the show is just THAT good -- nakedness notwithstanding.

I was planning on being around tonight, but I just had the shittiest day imaginable.

I was playing today for... the first time in a while. And my bow broke. The tip just... snapped off. It was right along the grain-line so I don't think it can be fixed. And if it could be, I don't know if the bow would be strong enough to hold the tension needed.

I'm just sick. I've been sobbing all day and coming off this cold isn't helping matters either as far as my being able to handle this.

I know a broken bow may not seem like a HUGE deal, but it really is. This was a $4000 bow. And we're not even sure if insurance will cover this or not. So... I think I'm out four grand. And I have no idea how I'm going to replace it if that's the case.

Here's the damage I did. Isn't it just a beaut?



I don't have time for this. On top of the money that I don't have right now -- I'm playing for Les Miserables right now. Or, rather, the show opens in a week. A show I have been waiting to play for the past eight years. Yes, I have another bow, but it's nothing like my good bow. This was the bow that got me into college. The previous owner, it's the bow that got him into the Cleveland Orchestra. So yes, it may just be a stick of wood, but when you've used something for 5 years... it's a little more than just a stick of wood.

I'm going to go crawl in bed. I'm just... absolutely distraught.