The apparition of these faces in the crowd

For my first semester, I managed a 3.0 GPA. I was really bloody stoked by that. Like, beyond words stoked [Especially when that consisted of an A- in Contracts and a B+ in Torts]. Even my other two grades weren't bad. C in CivPro which still confuses me and a B- in Crim... which I was actually surprised at given that my teacher had issues with my writing. I'm sorry that I use polysyllabic words and write in sentences longer than five words but it's how I write and I've been doing it for a long time. But I digress.

Still, I was THRILLED. Utterly thrilled. Went into this semester feeling good about things and ready to take on the world, as it were.

Then, today, we got our rankings.

100/201.

I now feel like shit. I know I'm an over-achiever, but that's just how I am. I'm a perfectionist. And I KNEW I wasn't going to be in the top 10%, but I had hoped (especially after talking to some of my friends and hearing that we all did roughly the same) that I'd be sitting in the top 30% of the class.

Not... edging into the top half by the fucking skin of my teeth.

Hello. Yes, I exist. ♥ thank you guys for the well wishes for law school. Now is the waiting game. So yeah, when the letters start coming in, you all will be the first to know. Keep the fingers crossed for me! *cuddles*

1. Found out today that Dr Feldman passed away a month ago. I had... no idea. And, frankly, am really pissed off at Cleland. I've been emailing him back and forth all through November about letters of recommendation. He could have fucking said something. But yeah, he passed away from ALS -- so I've lost two professors who meant the world to me in the space of 10 months. I'm just this side of a wreck.

2. Had a good friend of mine come out to me tonight. Which... was a very weird situation all around. I swear, I collect gay men like a bloody harem. Not that I'm complaining? But sheesh. And it's a really rough situation for him too and I feel isnanely, insanely bad for him. :(

3. I... might have a boy. I gave in and did one of those internet sites just to try as, well, where do I spend my time? The theatre. Who do I tend to meet there? Gay males. And while I love my harem... not exactly conducive to finding a boyfriend. So met a guy on one of the sites... and invited him to the show tonight. We hit it off really well (even with said harem in the wings and watching boy's every move. *g*) He's a year younger than me... but taller which teh girly side approves of most heartily. Best line of the night? avengangle? Ben will get a kick out of this.
Me: I'm a geek. I run LINUX.
Him: Cute AND runs Linux? I'm a lucky guy.

So... he asked me out on Tuesday. I'm... more than a little giddy. But giddy and also really fucking depressed. *sigh*

I just got them.

Hello Vodka.

Yep. I did worse this time around. One point lower.

Just fuck me with a sharp stick. I don't think I've stopped crying yet.

A 3.6 GPA and I can't fucking score above a 154.

Just shoot me and put me out of my misery.

You know what's always nice? Getting yelled at for doing your job because an actor just so happens to be an asshole and doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

Yes, dickwad -- you ripped your pants. Wasn't even that bad, really. When I'm walking INTO the show 45 minutes before curtain is NOT when you come up to me and shove your ass in my face and fucking prance around about it. Particularly as I have JUST walked in, am still laden down with instrument and other bags. I laid into the little cocksucker. I wasn't mean (as rose_whispers will attest), but I was firm. And dude. The rule is: you lose a button or a shirt needs ironed, you do it yourself. If it's a major incident you tell the stage manager ASAP and she will phone the costumer.

ALWAYS been this way.

Our delicate flower runs to the director and says I was mean and how upset he was.

So what happens? Bitch-face Almi decides to bitch me out in front of the entire fucking cast. Saying how I'm on staff now and we don't treat volunteers this way. Dare I mention that at green room opening night almi says (and I quote): "I'd like to formally welcome our newest staff member, Eric!" May I mention that Eric was hired mid-July. I was hired in August.

Right. Bitch.

So. Fucking. Annoyed.

Home again... safe and sound. I will say? I will NEVER do a bus trip again like that. I think it nearly killed me. I got very little sleep on the bus to begin with and then having to walk around NYC for 16 hours? Let me rephrase -- the walking wasn't bad. What was bad was the needing to CARRY everything I bought around with me all day long.

Granted, it was a few purses from Chinatown and my cardstock posters I always get... but still.

In any case. We arrived in NYC around 7:30 am. Headed up to Pigalle on 49th and 8th for breakfast -- then hit Chinatown.

( Chinatown! )

Then, it was off to see A Chorus Line. Nick got me a student rush seat and I had an amazing seat! Row D, right on the aisle on the right hand side. So when I was heading to NYC, I heard that another friend of mine (Eric Scoitto) was thought to be joining the cast once Cry Baby closed but he wasn't going to be starting until mid-july. Open the playbill and there's an insert saying he was joining the cast at our performance. So not only did I know one person on stage but TWO.

Got to see Eric briefly afterwards and he's doing wonderfully. Someone in the cast got injured and so they called him in early. Then... out comes Nick. I haven't seen him in a good three or four years and he looks wonderful. Of course... everyone is waiting for Mario Lopez to come out. I was lucky enough to get right on the rail, otherwise I knew I wouldn't get to see Nick. So after Nick and I talk, he goes back inside -- comes out a moment later with Mario. Insert pandemonium and screams here.

What happens? Nick takes Mario right to me.

Nick: (to Mario) I wanted you to meet a friend of mine from home.
Me: Yeah, I went to high school with Nick.
Mario: (grinning) I'm sorry.
Me: I know. I just had to put up with him.

And he signed my playbill (in pen, alas -- which is somewhat hard to see in the picture, but it's there!), took a picture with me and what have you. But -- I can say that I was introduced to Mario Lopez. Not too shabby.

( A Chorus Line Pictures! )

This entry is long enough ... and I need enough time to talk about Sunday. Which... *points to layout (thescarletwoman)* If Sunday can replace Ralph as my current layout -- you know exactly how much the show meant to me and what an impact it had.

First of all: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

That's all I can say right now. I've been re-reading comments from you guys on my writing post and am... well, gobsmacked. You guys have seriously left me speechless. I didn't post that in seeking out pats on the back and I nearly did disable comments. But...

I'm without words. I'm slowly trying to form responses to you guys so they are coming. I just didn't want the weekend to come without saying thank you. It's been a really low couple of weeks for me and the encouragment... was exactly what I needed to hear.

So in short -- here's a massive thank you to the flist. ♥

In other news? I got the first good night's sleep in I don't know how long. melatonin=love. Seriously.

Also have a gig this weekend! Huzzah! and paying too but shhhhh. that's on the dl. The conductor flew in from Germany yesterday and worked with the little chamber ensemble for about an hour. It's a baroque piece (yay BW and their Bach love)... and the conductor complimented me not only on my playing but how excellent I was playing the music stylistically. Never thought I'd say this but... Thank you Dwight Oltman.