This was wonderful and I haven't read the book! I am still slightly confused by the Michael plot. So clever of you though, to get inside Jack's head like that. I loved how you got at his narcissism, which is at the core of his personality. While there is the genuine concern about admitting his feelings, there is also the taking umbrage at the possibility of Ianto dumping him.

One little brit pick, we don't have brownstones here. I'm not truly sure what type of house they are, but I think I've heard of them in relation to New York? The most likely thing would be a terrace, often people refer to a Victorian or Edwardian terrace. Or you could just say Ianto's house, or his flat.